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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been repeatedly blindsided by others. Her partner walked away, which came as an unexpected event. Many of her friends drifted away at that point, because they seemed focused solely on him. It shocked her. She made increased attention in our friendship, probably understood better what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, several of her friends vanished leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for turned on her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

In recent times, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, but I am finding my position in the relationship feels one-sided. I start subjects but she shifts conversation onto what interests her. Politically, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She is planning a vacation to a nation I've visited repeatedly and lived in for some time. I tried to offer advice, but this was met with resistance. She really solely sought my agreement with her choices. I have returned from 30 days there she is eager to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for a solution takes courage and readiness from both people.

Experts suggest using a effective method for resolving disputes:

"The first step involves describing the usual pattern when you talk. It should be as factual as possible and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express her how it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no disagreement about this. Your feelings are valid, of course. Finally is to ask how the two of you can shift the pattern between you."

Consider she too has a point of view, so you need to remain ready to acknowledge it. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"Now you talk and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful for promoting mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject everything, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative about themselves they won't let go of as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents they've known. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare here, just dead ends. Yet she could start out defensively before reflecting on your words. If you don't achieve a resolution, it provides closure knowing you were honest with her.